update 8/23/10

slooow down.... the events of reality space have been wild.. off the charts.. this blog isn't dead.. i'll never let it die... but for right now... the hopeless tumblr is getting most of my time... but you my sweet sweet art blog, you'll always get the arts stuff forever! so i've seen some really cool stuff done on like book paper... so i tore up a book i had on 65 horror stories and i'm gonna draw some gore crap on em... here's the 1st practice one.. tell me what you think? tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me! OH THATS RIGHT!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT THIS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...

rmember.. this is still a practice so tell me what you think? oh thats right? hahahahaha

also here's some hopelessy stuff from the tumblr...

horsehair was telling me about this lady who died (metaphorically) and about her ghost's actions... and hearing that stuff really bummed me out... and then drinking with his family and hearing theyre drama... everyone has their life story.... idk.... i'm still working on the geometry zine... its all about you kidd... fuck you... its alls about you.... stuff coming soon! stuff coming soon!!!!!

update 8/10

uhm.... 4 flyers in the works.....

all for bogus.. hahah... i think imma do em all about crabs... i'd love to get some help... got a master plan coming together... hahahaha....

also here's a couple saddsssy drawings from the failure forever tumblr... just posting em, cuz there's no other art out there......


DAMN there has been a vast amount of bad grammar in this post, damn... i need to put a end to that.

this one's from sunday morning... got home drunk.. starting digging.... luckily i didnt find a thing...

this one's from yesterday/the day before.... i didn't dig... someone dug for me... and i didn't like what i found...

Unknown future

i started drawing this in the morning and i barely finished... sunday was the one year anniversary of my ex, and also the one month anniversary of our breakup.... she's dead (metaphorically).... so i scribbled something on a piece of paper for my hopeless tumblr.... i'm not gonna link it.... and also drew some deserty mountains to accompany it... here ya go niggu....

there's a b/w (invertedy) one on the hopeless tumblr... 

uPDATE 7/28/10

3 flyers on the way....

i've also decided to the sex zine all on my own... 3 drawings and maybe 3 poems... i'm not sure yet... but i'm working on that right now...

also the geometry zine.. i just to sketch things out alot before i do em... i want this thing perfect...

i've noticed alot these things are about her... damn, that sucks... damn kidds, and they're impact on me...

i think thats it... stuffs soon....

UPDATE 7/25/10

yo! this aint dead! there's just nothing on the plate right now...the only thing i'm working on, is the geometry zine... even the sex drawings zine, that i had so much hope for is caca.. but fuck it... i'll find a way to make things myself, even if nobody to wants in... uhmmm... i don't have time to keep this updated, but if yr into hopeless scribble peotry.. check out my tumblr... i'd link it for you, but nah.. there's less of a chance of you seeing it, if its not linked.... its youareinfinity.tumblr.com whatever... keep yr eyes posted jerks... i'll try and keep everything on track.... there's more to talk about... but since nobody reads this and nobody cares... its kinda pointless.... so i'll stay quiet....

status updates become tangible artworks pt4:

this the final piece in the series. i'm going to collect these drawings into a little xeroxy zine. geometry001. containing all the status updates drawings. i already have the layout planned, so now comes the hard part. actually doing it... regardless.. here's math heart...

that was the original drawing... just a simple heart in blocky mathy form... a representation of lots of feelings for different people. but that was too boring of a drawing, so i added a layer of black charcoal to the background and photoshopped it up just a bit... yo!

the zine is coming soon... 4 drawings a cover blah blah blah... lets see if i can do it... yo... hahahahahahahah... more gay art soon too, like the june 18th flyer... thats next up yo!

status updates become tangible artworks pt3

3rd in a series... i'm gonna take these drawings, redo em, and put em into a zine... geometry001... i had the idea for a geometry zine awhile ago, but i couldn't get down what i wanted to do for it... but everyone has liked these drawings enough for me to have the confidence to put em together... something simple 4 pages, black and white ink... maybe a little sliver of paint.

this is long head graphs. the expansion of my thought process as i ponder events. unsure thoughts stretched out. questions unanswered. a look at what i was feeling, of course these events are now resolved...

more stuff soon sonn....

status updates become tangible artworks pt2:

the 1st part of this was the "complex chest mathematics" drawing. which started out as just as a depressy lossy status update thing, then became a really important peice for me... this one, still follows the same theme. but its not as a dramatic as the one before. this is deep chest equations. a look into the unresolved questions that plague me. a sit-down with my thoughts and wants. if i had friends, i'd probably chill with them and let myself open up. but nah, i'm not gonna bother people with that nonsense. so i'll just shove it into art form..

yeah its inverted, but i wanted it that way from the beginning... i like the look of black skin, with white lines. the paint is washed over the page, i'm gonna start doing that again... i always love the way that comes out...

the next part in the series "long head graphs" hahahahaha, i like these peices, because they are reflections of my thoughts at the moment. 

if anything... the questions and problems that i needed resolved during this drawing procces have been takend care of, but whatever, keep yoself updated foo!

status updates become tangible artworks

i went to work and felt awkward and nervous and uneasy about things that have nothing to do with work. but the  bad feelings remained in my chest. complex feelings like i couldn't understand, or didn't want to... so i updated my internet account place. the more i thought about the concept of it, it sounded like a really cool drawing. so for  two weeks i did draft after draft until i came up with this.

"complex chest mathematics"

but it felt a little dry, so i added a layer of grey edge...

the drawing process began april 23rd. just to lett you know...

a special event

i used to have a secret blog full of hopeless lossy sad poetry nonsense... and upon the urging of an associate, i now have a tumblr of the same style... YOUAREINFINITY.TUMBLR.COM and to commemorate this nonsense.. here are hopelessy drawings i've made...

bad feelings

the drip

factory ruins

"a tiredness rainbow in the atmosphere of earth"

all of these pieces have a poetic accompaniment  but nobody cares... 

stay tuned folks!

this isn't dead

seriously... i won't let this die.. although, probably i should. for these things are better left in the ground to rot. to let flowers grow in their place anew.

but this art thing isn't dead, not by a long shot. i've just been busy (or better yet, lazy) there's still lots of stuff coming down the hole to be uploaded... like the april 13th flyer and photos (valeries bee-day bash!) which was a shit load of fun! and the may 1st flyer (an experiment in layers), and the may 13th flyer (which might have photos to accompany it aswell) all those things are fun and pretty and cool, but right now i'm trying to focus on my hopelessyness side.

i'm doing a drawing called "complex chest mathematics" about feelings of mistrust and blah blah blah... and now that my car is unbroken i need to get on the ball and start finalizing the sex drawings zine... because it sucks that i'm so pathetic i can't even get it out there!

valleys

the empty gray void. where my best inspiration comes from. the nowhere. the forever stretching onward hopeless.. the lies that lead me there. the feelings of loss and suspicion. the brain is plotting out scenario after scenario of fucked up situations and terrible ideas. and all my third eye does is watch. watch in horror as to whats displayed.... i feel sick. fuck this. fuck this.

experiment in grays and textures

*yes, yes... i know very boring and lame... fun stuff coming soon... just hold yr horses you have to appreciate the hopelessy art stuff too...*

time space failure

me and him call it us is one of my all time favorite bands... i've seen them twice, or perhaps even thrice... and they have been a constant in my top played music for 3 or 4 years. they always set my bummer moods so well... here's the lyrics, for the song that is currently consuming me... "the weight" off the vinyl split with the blue letter

...hahahahaha thats funny....

anywhoos... hey guess what i finally finished the animals on coke design! here's the deal... about four or five months ago, my good friend juan pablo asked me to design a tee shirt for the wonderful animals on coke. his idea was two male bears having sex, with the headline "riding bearback" the drawing itself wasn't difficult... i like drawing and it came out like this...

i gave the bear a tie, so we could distinguish he was male.. hahahahah

i did a rough draft with digital lettering... but it looked to neat.. to clean...

so i spent 4 months!! little by little hand drawing the font in... FUCK, i hate gangstery old enlishy letters, they suck! but whatever i finished the design, last month... so here is the final product.. the hand drawn version...

yeah i know, the letters suck! but thats what makes them unique.. its so much more vivid and natural that way... at least in my opinion... whatever though niggu, it aint like yr opinion on this matter is all dat important...

"here's to new beginnings you fucks"

The worst part is over. The freezing rain. The crashing waves. The sick feelings of loss and abandonment. The weather is calm again. Bad feelings still reside within me, but theyve always been there. This chapter of the book is written and closed. And we're back where we started. Im trying my best to not wish harm on anybody, but right now for at least a little while longer, fuck you.... i'm a little disappointed in myself, for growing up and getting over it, because the bad feelings zine is still in its infancy. ugly feelings are my biggest inspiration for artt making. but i'm gong to try really hard to put this all together. so i can have a tangible peice of my bitchy (let's say, justified) human-ness...

ALSO!!! i was in las cruces being bored and i came up with a really cool idea for a zine! SEXUAL DRAWINGS!! i was thinking about aids wolf, and drawing gross headless naked women and men, and i thought! i should make a zine, and i invited everyone to join in! so far, this guy dusto, and miss valerie are going to submit some SEXUAL DRAWINGS!! you should join in too! hit me up! it doesn't matter how gay, weird, talentless... its all about weird sexual posses and bad feelings... whoo!

ALSO AS WELL!!! hey here's a picture of me... aren't i sexxxy

off to bed, stuff tomorrow! hopefully pt 2 of the complex series... gonna try to arrange the order of the poems for the zine thing (the bad feelings one, not the sex one...)

route solitaire (part 2)

here is the finished drawing. this peice has been in various stages of completion for the last three weeks. inspired by bad feelings on the long stretches of empty highway. by the clumps of hair and guts sprayed for miles. the rust red tire tracks that go on forever and the anguish they inspire. the stippling didn't come out very good, but whatevers buddy. lets see you do it... ... nah, i'm just kidding... i'm sure you can draw it way better, don't make me look like a bitch on my own page, that would suck. sorry bro...

last night i had a nightmare. and although i won't go into details. lets just this style of mine is going to continue for a little while at least. ... the dream involved me learning something terrible and falling to floor in convolsions. and then after a little while i got over it. and i realized what a slut... hahahahah... i fucking hate dreams.

color is dead

this is a demonstration page for my upcoming zine. when i was in high school i used to do alot of poetry in this style, scribbled on paper, scratches. tear drops.  i think this is a really good change of pace for me.  so far i have about 10 to 12 pages in mind. mostly new writing, but some old, and some new drawings.

i was thinking to myself earlier, will anyone get this? what about the subjects involved? but, i remain assured that not only does no one give a shit, but that this is out of context enough to stand in its own right. but just in case, all names and such have been cut out... plus i think it gives it a better look.

i'm still unsure about the size... but soon i'll get it figured out

the "route solitaire" drawing is almost finished too.. i'm layering on thick graphite to get the sky that perfect shade of purgatory. i think the next series of things will have a tendency to more real ideas, hopefully some photography soon too.

in other sad news astrocosmonauts called it a quits. i really loved them. they were so nice too. i wish my blog had more pull to it so i could help promote stuff like that. there's something really sad about awesome musicians never catching on...

//vos yeux ont ressemblé aux lasers//

i'm working on a new zine. something gritty and fucked. lately i've gone through some feelings.. hahahaha... ..little inside joke, so i told my friend " you know, blah, blah, blah, and i feel terrible and sad" and she started laughing in my face, which made me laugh... hahahahaha... that part was funny... but the point of the story is, i've come up with some really good material for a zine. i know nobody cares, and nobody's going to read this. so here is the introduction...

//vos yeux ont ressemblé aux lasers//

and i don't let these events destroy my concept of caring. even for this loss and woe that i feel. this nightmare. the months of warmth were worth it. yes right now is mistrust, spite, lies, failings, but these feelings are mine and mine alone. thus presented, this is the journal of my heart and mind written and illustrated.

i'm collecting ideas for it now, but if i start playing with christeater, i'm going to sell it at shows...

route solitaire (part 1)

wow... two posts in one day? damn!

i'm not going to say much because i am very fucking tired. but this is the drawing that's driving me crazy right now... i tried to stay up and finish it, but fuck that... there's alot to do.. ugh... ugh...